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I'm hung up... [entries|friends|calendar]

Ring, ring , ring goes the telephone. The lights are on but there’s no one home.
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Well alrighty then... [012306]
[ mood | anxious ]

(Used to be _devilizh, they were offerin name changes for ppl who's username's started with underscores since they changed the url you link to.)

Okay, I think I'm gonna be updating regularly now. =) I was just really stressed out and had to deal with some relationship and parental drama. Today was a horrible day. I got up and was running late, and I really needed to be to school on time to get a computer pass. First off, I get like 3/4ths on the way to the bus stop and realize I left my bus tickets and my key in the house (thank GOD my mom didn't work today). Anywho, I walk slowly back home because I know that I have missed the bus, I get back to my house and bang on the door for my mom to open it, I grab my bus tickets and key, and walk slowly back down the street. I walk like 3 blocks down and get frustrated that I won't be able to print my paper out because I really wanted to get over 90 in all my classes to bring my gpa way up. I just turned around and walked home. My mom was in the kitchen and just looked at me when I plopped down on the couch. She goes upstairs and changes her clothes to take me to school; I inform her that I'm not going to school. She asks why, and I tell her there's no point since I can't turn in my paper. She begins to yell at me, and then the screaming match ensues. She goes back upstairs still yelling (mind you it's not even 8am). Anywho, I'm sitting on the couch crying because she yelled at me and said no more phone or computer, and that's like my only means of communication with my gf since she has no car. So yeah I was really upset. I call my gf Lisa and ask if I can come over her house and to meet me @ the subway station, but she's like "What happened? Whats wrong?" and I don't feel like explaining so I tried to quickly explain what happened but she didn't understand, so I'm bawling my eyes out like "Please? Can I come over? I'm not supposed to be on the phone, I gotta go." So then like my mom knows I'm on the phone and doesn't say anything, so I go to my room and talk to Lisa. My mom comes in my room and says I can't see Lisa anymore. Lisa is in tears and angry now. Things start looking up, because me and Lisa come up with a plan...my mom said Lisa couldn't come to the house, not that I couldn't see her. We laugh and joke and she helps me look for a job (the main problem my mom has with me). So yeah, our plans for saturday are: She comes over my house round 9am and we make love -devilish grin-, around 11 or 12 we'll leave my house and go to mondawmin mall so I can look for a job there (it's near my school, Lisa's school, and my mom's job), and around 12 or 1 we're going out Owings Mills mall to see "Big Momma's house 2", fill out more job applications and get something to eat. So yeah, it sounds like it'll be fun. Just gotta see if my mom will pick us up from the station near Lisa's house after the movie. Otherwise we're gonna be stranded lol
*Oh Yeah forgot to talk about our outing to the movie's on the 14th. It was freakishly windy. I swear it was like hurricane windy. lol So yeah, Lisa was getting her hair done forever. The slore who does her hair likes her, so when she found out Lisa was goin out wit me she chose to do something different with her hair which took like 4x longer. I was pissed lol Katrina came over my house and we kept waiting for Lisa to be done so we could catch the bus downtown to meet her. So anywho, she's like ok yall can leave now, and we leave and get downtown in like 5 seconds and her ass hasn't left the hair place. So we wait outside by the subway in like 30 degree weather (factor in that the wind was blowing hard enough to knock you down...it knocked our house lights out lol) Anywho, after forever and a year Lisa gets downtown (forgot to mention the digital camera I won on ebay came that day so I was taking pics of everything lol). So anywho, listenin to my dumbass we get on the wrong lightrail lmao so we had to go to the next stop and get off to go on the other side. My mom calls me, and I'm just like umm can you pick us up from Arundel Mills (like 30 mi from my house lmao), so she's fussin and so is Lisa since I kept telling her my mom was gonna pick us up. So yeah we get to the mall and I have to pee like shit so I'm runnin around lookin stupid tryna find the bathroom lol the mall is huge (I think it's the biggest in maryland) yet they only have a limited number of bathrooms lol So yeah I find one and we stumble upon the food court, and me and Lisa are starving (Katrina had just ate). So we decided to get food first, then we go to see "Last Holiday". Me and Lisa are like sneakin kisses in during the movie, and she kept tryna feel me up lol After the movie I continue taking pics, which neither of them want to pose for, and we wait for my mom to pick us up (it's like 11pm now) so yeah finally my mom comes and we take Lisa home, I wanted to kiss her soooooooooooo bad in the car, but I didn't want my mom to see, and Lisa was poutin cuz she wanted to kiss me, so I touched my palm to my lips and then put it on hers, and then my mom was turnin and we couldn't resist, so we just turned and kissed eachother lol that was the 2nd best kiss ever =) (the first best happened 2 days b4 that, it was the most passionate kiss ever like omg we wanted to rip eachothers clothes off right there, but we were on my couch in the living room). Anyway I'll stop talking now lol

7 I’m tired of waiting on you.

Sorry... [010906]
[ mood | lonely ]

for the recent lack of updates. School has been tiring; exams start tomorrow...which might I add...is MY 7TEENTH BIRTHDAY! everbody get out ya party hats! lol Oops, forgot, it's a private party. Yeahhhhh, just me and my baby wit the whipped cream -devilish grin-.I'm so pumped lol I've missed her like crazy, and wednesday I get out @ 10:30 so ima go with her to get her hair done so I can keep me eye on the breezy who be doing it, her ass be all up on Lisa, i'm like uh no...Thursday I get out @ 10:30 too, so ima see her again, and then friday she works -sad face-, but Saturday is my best friend's birthday so we're all going out to the mall and movies, fun times. Its gonna be the best time ever since neither of them have met before, so what a better occasion then my best friend's 18th bday lol Her ass (my bff Katrina) was like "I'm not doing anything on my birthday, it's just another day." I'm like "you're such a loser lol we're going to the movies." Aren't I the bestest? I'm only actually updating cuz myspace is actin weird and I was bout to redo my page. Anywho, hope everyone has a nice week =) Let me get back to tryna win a camera on ebay =(

3 I’m tired of waiting on you.

Just another manic monday [010206]
[ mood | loved ]

It's beginning to rain. Tomorrow I go back to school. I have done none of my homework. For english I have to write a prologue that rhymes and contains 24 lines. I have to finish a pre test for Precalc H, and study for the test that's tomorrow. I have a project due for psychology friday (it's easy though). Also, I my band exam starts tomorrow and I haven't studied the terms we need to know for the ECRs. Right now I'm sick, and although it's not going too, I'd love for it to snow tonight. Last week was simply amazing, and I wish everyday of my life was as wonderful. You're probably wondering why. Last wednesday, thursday, and friday I spent time with the better half.

*Wednesday was simply amazing. She came over a little before 10, we ate Mcdonalds (she always brings me food -rubs tummy- she knows where my heart is). Before we ate though, she gave me the only christmas presents I got for 05. The list includes: Addicted by Zane (I wanna be all up in the sex novel bit this year). A necklace with a star on it (I'm her star). Jamie Foxx's cd (hott shit). A gift card & teddy bear from Victoria's secret (God bless the freak in her). A lovely, heart warming Christmas card; the message inside brightened my whole day. Anywho, after we ate, we kissed (as always), and quickly became horny as fuck. We went to my room and did the nasty (yeah boiii lol). That day marked the first time I made her cum by oral sex, and the first time I 69'd (it was lovely, cept I hit her in the head wit my ass, not that she complained). We stopped around 1(?) and went downstairs and kissed some more while trying to watch tv, we also ordered some pizza and she fullfilled my lust for mozzarella sticks. Anywho, my mom like never gives her a ride anymore (she doesn't like me being gay), so Lisa had to leave @ 6 to catch the bus and then get the subway. My mom came home briefly after.

*Thursday I wasn't even supposed to see her, she was gonna go out with her ex, and their mutual friends (boy was I heated when I found this out). She assured me it was nothing like that, she just wanted to see her friend Ashley, and her ex just happened to be Ashley's bff. So I trusted her not to hurt me by doing anything she wasn't supposed to do. Anywho, her ex got sick, so all plans were off. So yeah she came over here around 2:30 (?). Basically we just made love, it rocked my socks. She's never moaned louder -devilish grin-. Anywho, this time my mom came home before six, and when I asked if she could give Lisa a ride home, she got an attitude and made up excuses. When Lisa said bye to her, she said bye in a bitchy sort of way (glad I didn't hear it, cuz I would have cussed her ass out). Anywho, it was slightly drizzling and freezing on the bus stop. I was pissed that Lisa was like "My mom's not picking me up from the subway station; I'll just go to sleep there." I was like "oh hell no, you're spending the night at my house. Let me call my mom and ask if she can give you a ride." Lisa kept hanging the phone up when I was dialing the number. Her friend gave her a ride home from the subway station, so I was okay, but she dropped her phone while waiting for them so she was angry.

*Friday was our first date ever. We had planned this forever. We had made plans for her to come to my house first (and make love to me -evil laugh-), but when she heard my mom had given my bus fair after all, she switched up and was like "just meet me downtown". I was angry but complied. I see my friend from school with her sister on the bus I get on, going to Owings Mills Mall just like me and Lisa were. I'm on the bus and she calls me and hasn't even left her house for the subway station (I'm nearly downtown by now). I get downtown a little after 12:30. I wait down in the subway for her, and when it's like 1 pm and she's not there, I go outside to call and see where she is (of course you can't make calls underground). She didn't know I was down there looking for her, since I said meet me up top the stairs where you're still upstairs or w/e. So anyway finally she calls me @ like 1:10. I walk around the corner and see her (my heart melts the exact moment our eyes meet). Anywho, we walk down the street to this barber shop place so she could get a shape up (she doesn't need one, but refuses to listen to me). Anyway, we wait like 2 hours in there, so we're both hungry after it's all done. We go next door and she gets some fries, and buys me some onion rings (we share food). We walk back to the subway and catch it to owings mills (the last stop, so it was a long ride and we held hands and stared at eachother the whole way). Anywho, we get there and have to wait for a bus to take us to the mall. Finally we get to the mall and go to the movies first. We see king kong, I hated it, she loved it. We're never going on a date ever again. We groped and kissed eachother through out the whole day, 'specially in the movie theatre. Anyway, after the movies we walk over to the mall and go to the food court. After eating, we stop in hot topic for her to get a belt buckle with a skull on it (she can dress her short ass off). Anyway we wait for the bus to take us back to the subway station. We take the subway to Reisterstown plaza (right near her house) and my mom picks us up, drives her home, and then we go home too. I call Lisa as soon as I get home (as always).
And now...tada...We're both horribly sick. Today my mom is finally taking me shopping (she'll probably label it as my birthday present or something even though she got me nothing for xmas). All I want for my bday is a digital camera, so if any of you know of a cheap one, holl'r ASAP. I'm done rambling, have a pleasant day, I'm off to Old Navy.

8 I’m tired of waiting on you.

So long 2005... [123105]
[ mood | anxious ]

2005 sure was a chaotic year. I fell in love again, only to wind up getting hurt as usual. However, unlike last time, it turned out to be true love in the end. That love has blossomed into need & I hope it never dies. This year marked a year of numerous discoveries. The discovery of my soul mate (my shadow), who reads my mind, and finishes my sentences even before I open my mouth. The discovery of a new me. A me that’s not ashamed of my body, not ashamed of how everyone else views my life choices, not ashamed to be me. The discovery that my freedom lies just beyond the horizon. June 3, 2006 is no longer an illusion, it’s my destiny. My destiny to graduate on Lumden-Scott stadium’s field, like so many other Westernites before me; to wear a long white gown like the sisters who will surround me; to no longer be a hopeful high school graduate but a Western & Maryland State diploma recipient; to no longer “Francine’s daughter” but “Joy, a Western alumnae”. The discovery that I am no longer a little girl, but a woman. Soon I shall have bills to pay, a job to occupy my free time, and a love life to juggle in between. Even with all of this ahead of me, I gladly welcome the future. 2006 here I come!

2 I’m tired of waiting on you.

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